Everybody Needs An “Amen”
To be honest with you, in my 20 plus years of ministering and preaching off and on, I’ve probably only received a vocal “amen” a handful of times. Certainly not enough to have to use all fingers and toes to count them. Most of those came on one trip to the Hollywood Road Church of Christ in Houma, Louisiana a wonderfully vocal congregation. It was invigorating and if it happened too often I might not ever stop the sermon. I’ve had plenty of people tell me after the service that they appreciated what I said which is very encouraging in it’s own right.
Whether you are a preacher of the Word or not, getting some form of an “amen” is important. We all need validation or at the least to be heard. Thanks to Ben’s constant friendship and expertise in mental health, I’ve learned and attempted to better give my attention to those who are speaking to me. Especially my wife and kids. As a teacher/coach of teenagers, I know that if their hand is raised in class (especially the boys) they are not hearing a word I’m saying. They are focused on the fact that their hand is raised even though I might be answering their question. I’m trying to be more attentive to this aspect of human nature. It helps that I’ve recognized that need in my own life. Sometimes my job feels like all I’m doing is teaching to the four walls of my classroom. I feel like all I do is repeat myself. Then I go home and my kids don’t hear a word I’m saying. More and more I feel like the teacher from the “Peanuts” cartoon. It is so frustrating. Then I get so mad that I can’t even form a sentence. It is just a terrible cycle.
To break the cycle, I try to think when was the last time I said something worth hearing to them? When was the last time I validated them and their thinking even it’s completely wrong. When it comes to commenting on a controversial social media post, I try to ask myself “when was the last time you ‘liked’ or commented on a non-controversial post from this person?” If I can’t remember a specific instance, I try not to comment because we just don’t have that type of relationship. As the saying goes “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
Many times it feels that nuance is dead and no one is given the benefit of the doubt. It takes a lot of patience to befriend a “know-it-all” and even more to love one. It is important that we don’t present ourselves as a “know-it-all” because for one, it’s impossible to know everything. You might be an expert in 1-3 subjects or activities but we are all learning even if we actively avoid the educational process. Acknowledging that may produce in us a next level grace and forgiveness. I believe that starts by being able to hear people out. Validate their feelings, communicate your understanding of their feelings to make sure you are comprehending and give them the opportunity to correct. Really then and only then can we begin to move in the right direction and strengthen our relationship.
I believe there is one and only one with the capacity for cosmic knowledge and justice. God knows what we are feeling and why. God knows all the factors that have created our situation and he alone will determine the ultimate outcome. God alone knows your motivation. That is a great reminder to be grateful for his grace and mercy that he offers through his son Jesus Christ. He has all the reason to find us guilty but instead he has taken the necessary steps to strengthen our relationship with him and others. God knows we all need an “amen” every once in a while and today you might be his “amen” for someone who desperately needs it.
Travis