Restoring Calluses
Calluses just seem to be a part of life. I used to get them on the ends of the fingers on my left hand due to playing guitar. I spoke to a man yesterday who said he used to have them on his hands from picking cotton. A lot of people have them from working shovels, rakes, or some other gardening tool. My guess is that from time to time you have developed some sort of callus. They develop from something being over-used or abused over time. Eventually the skin becomes hardened and the feeling is lost.
Calluses are normal. Unfortunately, they even occur in our hearts occasionally. Every time someone rubs us the wrong way…every time we are disappointed by someone’s actions…every time we are treated with disrespect we tend to get a little more calloused. Eventually, we stop showing the care and concern that we once had.
We hear, “Feed the hungry.”
We answer, “If they wanted to eat they would work.”
We hear, “Give a drink to those who need it.”
We answer, “Water here is clean and free, why can’t they get it for themselves.”
We hear, “Take care of strangers.”
We answer, “all strangers are dangerous…it could end in disaster.”
We hear, “Clothe those without them.”
We answer, “I can’t believe they would wear that…it is so tacky.”
We hear, “Take care of the sick.”
We answer, “They probably don’t feel like company and I might get sick if I go.”
We hear, “Visit those in prison.”
We answer, “They are rude…they are scary…they won’t listen to me.”
It only takes a few “burns” to create a callus. Some of you have been burned more times than you can count. Eventually, it becomes difficult to help anyone. The ones who really needed help get lost among the many that may not have needed it. The calloused hearts we have refuse to let us feel. So how do we renew our love and restore calloused hearts? Here are just a few suggestions:
Quit Mind-Reading
You are probably thinking that you are good here because you don’t have the gift to read minds. Reality is that none of us can read minds, which is exactly why we should stop trying. We are quick to jump to conclusions and to THINK we know what people are thinking and feeling. We question motives or abilities of people that we really don’t know or understand. When we judge the outside of a person we very rarely get it right. What it ultimately does is ruin our attitude toward those people and our attitude in helping people in general.
Take Inventory of Self
Last time I checked no one was perfect. I only know of one and he left this earth around 2,000 years ago. My guess is that at some point you have needed help. If you haven’t then you will. Pride usually prevents some of us from admitting it but the reality is that we all need assistance at some point in our lives. It’s hard to empathize with others when you aren’t aware of your own frailties as a human. So spend a few moments each morning to take inventory of self. Recognize where you would be if someone hadn’t blessed you somewhere along the way. Understand that you can have that same kind of impact on the people you will be around today. The Psalmist, David, said, “Examine me, O Lord, and try me; Test my mind and my heart” (Psalm 26:2). If you are willing to ask God to examine you then you ought to be willing to be honest with yourself.
Learn to Serve Without Expectations
So many times we serve expecting something in return. That is just the human part of us. If I work, I expect to get paid. If I serve, I expect for someone to notice. There is obviously nothing wrong with getting paid for your labor, but when I expect something in return for every service I will become extremely disappointed when I do not receive something. And the callus gets a little harder. A wise man once said:
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full” (Luke 6:32-34).
If you determine to serve without the expectation of being served in return you will minimize the amount of disappointment you feel. When you are disappointed because someone let you down you will likely hesitate before you help again. Your response will be, “Well, they don’t appreciate it anyway.” Paul said, “Love doesn’t take into account wrong suffered” (1 Corinthians 13:5). When it does, disappointment happens and calluses harden.
Pray
Pray with them, for them, and for yourself. Taking the time to do this will make a difference. Marinating yourself and your concerns in prayer tends to have a softening effect. The person may not change but it will change your attitude in your heart. Even when people nailed him to a post and hung up in front of the world in shame Jesus prayed, “Father forgive them.” You yourself may not believe in prayer, but I promise that the more you focus on the positive and on seeing them for what they are – another person like you that is simply struggling to make it through this difficult world – you will find that your heart will become more caring and loving.
Learn to Leave All Things Up to God
In the end you can’t fix everything. Some things you just have to trust that it will work out. For me it is simply trusting God will make it all right in the end. If you work with people long enough someone will fail you. People will take advantage of you. But if I let each of those instances go to my heart the callus will continue to get worse and worse. Sometimes we simply have to let it go and give it to someone or something greater than us.
I haven’t played guitar regularly in years. My fingers no longer have the calluses like they once did. The hands of the man I spoke to yesterday no longer have the calluses from years of picking cotton. The skin has been restored. Healing has taken place. Feeling has returned. If we stop practicing the things that create the calluses to begin with, we will find that restoration can take place. These new attitudes and actions aren’t easy, but you will ultimately find blessings in helping and serving those around you.
Ben