Time and Grief Do Not Follow A Parallel Linear Path

We tend to mark milestones in our community by years. If something happened 1

year ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, we mark it as a big event. Anniversaries, birthdays, and

other events are things that tend to be made more important by the year.

That holds true to both good and bad things that have happened in your life. We

love the fact that, on this day or that, something great will be celebrated (birth of a child,

anniversary, etc.). Sometimes, however, those anniversaries may not be good. In fact,

those things can come back to haunt you every time that date comes back around on the

calendar.

March 7th and May 25th are two of those days for my family and me. My son, Konnor,

was born on March 7th. He also left this world on May 25th. When those dates come

around, you can tell a difference among my family. It is almost like we are holding our

breath, thinking that something will go wrong, and knowing that nothing will be the same

again. Those dates hit hard, even two years after his passing.

I guess we are all in the same boat when it comes to dates being important. We

remember birthdays, anniversaries, times when we start a new job, times when we travel,

times when we meet someone, and many more times like those.

But we also remember times when tragedy happens. We often put them on

gravestones, in our Bibles, and in our hearts. We mark our calendars and remember those

last moments with a loved one or remember the last time we talked to them. I remember

the last thing I said to my son. He wanted to know why he was getting migraines. I told him

because he was a McFarlin and that’s what we get. Those were my last words to my son.

If you are getting close to a sad anniversary, it is ok to feel sad, angry, mad, hurt, or

any other types of emotions. It doesn’t matter if the sad event took place years or decades

ago- it still will hurt. You will remember the event, and you will remember the person, and

you will long for the event to have changed and the person to be with you. Don’t let anyone

tell you any different or feel that you are wrong for thinking and feeling those things.

May 25th is going to hurt. 2 years he has been gone. If the Lord allows me to stay on

this earth a year or 20 years, those anniversaries will hurt just as bad. It is ok to hurt, and it

is ok to feel that pain. Time may ease the pain, but it will not take it away completely.

Jeremy McFarlin