Thoughts on Self-Talk
“I am going to fail.” “I’ll never amount to anything!” “I always mess up everything!” “I’m a loser.” “People don’t like me” “Nothing will ever be good in my life.” “God must hate me.”
Have you ever had thoughts like these? Most people do at one point in their life. The negative self-talk that often makes us our own worst enemies. Kids, teens, and adults all experience what Laura Jenkins calls “mind weeds.” They are the tiny seeds of thought that begin to grow because of someone’s mean words or that simply arise out of your own fears and frustration.
These mind weeds are not new. They have always been around. Job had a lot of negative thoughts—and rightfully so as he endured pain that most of us will never encounter. But still those negative weeds will grow into bitterness and would have for Job had he not continued to work things out with God. At one point Job says “[God] throws me into the mud, and I am reduced to dust and ashes” (Job 30:19).
Elijah had been victorious at Mount Carmel over the prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 18, but by chapter 19 he is making comments like “I have had enough, Lord. Take my life: I am no better than my ancestors” (1 Kings 19:4). Then he responds to God “I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too” (10). He wasn’t the only one left, there were actually over 7,000 others who had not bowed down to Baal.
After David slept with Bathsheba and was approached by Nathan the prophet for his sinful behavior he wrote Psalm 51. Some of the words of the Psalm, “create in me a clean heart,” has been the sound track for many hearts who have needed to turn back to the Lord (10). Yet earlier in the Psalm David would, in his extreme guilt, make an exaggerated statement: “I have sinned and done wrong since the day I was born” (5).
The words were the result of a heart that had recognized his sin but they certainly were not theologically accurate. No one sins at birth. Our first sins come many years into our life, yet his mistakes came with mind weeds that ate at him. We do the same thing don’t we? “I have never done anything right in my life” might be the way that we would say what David said.
So what do we do? We have to start by recognizing the mind weed and reminding ourselves that it is not true. That part is easier said than done. It takes time. Weeks, maybe months, of practice of pointing out the bad habit and replacing it with good thoughts that come from God. Jesus told a story about “evil spirits” that we could apply to our negative thoughts (Matthew 12:43-45). When the evil spirit leaves and later returns to find an empty place—something not filled with more positive thoughts and habits—it will return and bring others with it.
The same is true with our negative self talk. When we learn to recognize the negative and start trying to remove it, we need to spend time in God’s word replacing those thoughts with positive ones. It is a process of planting positive seeds of thought in the place of the negative mind weeds that have been removed. There are plenty of positive Scriptures that people have used through the years. Take some time and search and find the right ones that will help you. But here is a list as a starting point. If you are still struggling with those thoughts then by all means contact me and let’s talk. Don’t let those weeds keep growing!
Philippians 4:7-9; Matthew 10:30-31; Psalm 94:19; Psalm 139:14; 1 John 3:1-3; Isaiah 26:3
Ben
(Check out Laura Jenkins materials by going to www,YourThoughtGarden.com)