Four Things to Expect if You Seek Counseling
Every so often I have clients that are just unsure about what to expect when they show up for an appointment. Most of us grew up going to a doctor so many people wonder if that is how the experience will be. Others have watched too many shows and movies about psychiatrists and therapists that have been greatly exaggerated (well, most of them have been). So occasionally a client will express that uneasiness when they call or upon the first visit. Sometimes the stress of the first visit can heighten anxiety and compound the problems that they called for. So here are a few things to help you get through the initial phone call and visit:
1. We are human. I think too many times people are scared to talk to others that they think don't struggle. It happens with preachers and pastors all the time. Members of their congregations are afraid to speak to the people who "have it all together" for fear of what those people may think of them. Truth is, we really are human. We have imperfect lives and live in imperfect families. We have had arguments with our spouse, gotten frustrated with the children, and struggled with balancing work, kids, personal hobbies, and finances. So we know where you are coming from. Because we are human we can understand that part. Yet we have spent countless hours learning techniques and strategies to help our fellow humans along their paths. We also have a network of other colleagues that help us when we find ourselves in the same kinds of predicaments. So, when you seek out a counselor, you are actually tapping into the combined research and strategies of hundreds of other people.
2. You are the most important person in the room. We may have degrees and an office but your health and especially your mental health is the most important part. Good counselors want to see you thrive in life. I tell clients that if they don't believe that my services are exactly what they need then I will help them find someone who can help them. I don't take it personally because I'm not the most important person—they are. I know several other good, competent counselors in my area that I talk to often about situations that arise.
3. What you say is confidential. Since you are the most important person in the room, you deserve privacy. What you share will be between you and the counselor. The law requires confidentiality, but also requires that counselors explain the exceptions. That will usually be explained in the paperwork you fill out and/or during your opening discussion. These exceptions in our state revolve around the protection of those who are in danger of being harmed (children, elderly, the client, or someone they are threatening), court orders, or if the client wants the information shared with another professional. We are committed to your privacy so please speak freely.
4. We want you to be comfortably challenged. Usually people go for counseling because there is a problem they want to resolve. Little change has ever occurred without some hard work. If a person wants to lose weight or get in shape they work out and change eating habits. While counselors want you to feel comfortable in their office, they also want you to feel challenged. That's how people grow. So from time to time your thoughts, actions, and responses may be called out. You may be assigned work to do outside of the office. Again, change doesn't happen by working one day a week or once every two weeks. It takes daily effort. So depending on the problem you may be given some things to work on. When you come back a counselor will review that with you.
I hope this is helpful in easing the anxiety of making an appointment and visiting with a counselor in your area. There has been such a stigma regarding therapy over the years and so many people are afraid to take those first steps toward seeking help. Our minds are intricate computer systems that sometimes have glitches that need to be addressed. If your arm was broken you would go to a doctor. If your tooth is hurting you would see a dentist. If your thoughts or emotions are out of line, or abnormal for you, then consider speaking to a counselor. It has helped many people throughout the years. I’m confident that it can be helpful for your circumstance as well.
Ben